Sometimes a person can be recognised as a great role model, but fall down where nobody wants to follow them, there are a lot of good people, great people even, but that alone does not make a great role model. There needs to be a balance between how we act as youth workers in the influential compared to the attractive. Attractive youth workers (not in the physically attractive sense of the word, but in terms of personality) will be surrounded by young people longing to be like them all the time. Sometimes the things which make a person cool or attractive may be recognised as a bad influence (not always of course!)

This reflection is based on the fact that I have many examples in my youth work where I have been called a bad influence, yet my actions have most likely directly caused an association for young people to view me as a role model. Fire breathing, frisbee skiing(standing on frisbees and hanging on to the back of a moving car), graffitti; even things like climbing trees!

If we want to be a positive influence to young people it is important not to forget that the way we position our lives will not only impact the way we influence others, but also the reach our influence will have….

….Behaviour justified

When trying to empower young people to initiate ideas and take on the responsibility of running I will subtly drop hints and try to plant ideas in their heads; without actually stating anything outright.  For example, Ah I love theme parks, have you ever been climbing?  I recon I would have been an awesome archer.  At other Christian Unions the people who come lead the discussions.

This more often than not leads to a young person going: ‘hey, can we organise  a trip to a theme park, Can we get a commercial coffee machine for the youth cafe, can we lead the discussions instead of you?  Things that ultimately make my life easier and also empowers the young people to lead these things?  My question is, do they actually want to do these things, or am I using the influence that I have plant an idea in their head to make it look like I’m doing a good job.

Makes me want to watch Inception and read the book ‘How to win friends and influence people’.

Pythagoras made this cup to demonstrate the dangers of greed. This is a great example of the importance of equality within the kingdom of god. Jesus says those who are first shall be last in the kingdom of heaven and those who are last shall be first. Anybody who tries to take more than their fair share will end up with nothing. If you want more the cup can be refilled once you have drunk what you have, but don’t store up for yourself more than you need. A parable of jesus and a teaching very much in line with the principal of the year of jubilee. Every 7th year being a year when debts are cancelled and slaves are offered their freedom.

Storing up great wealth benefits nobody. Why do we hoard belongings which we never use? If we are going to use the belongings we have that’s fine, but if not then why do we have them?

David (my sister Bethany’s boyfriend) told us that Bethany has recently been waking up in the night and her body has been trying make her get up and jump out of windows. She has been terrified that she will end up taking her own life and every time it happens she struggles with all her energy against it; clinging to anything she can. She has no idea why it happens; but is understandably terrified by these attacks.

I suggested that we go and find her and pray for her. At first she didn’t want us to, but in the end she agreed to allow David and me to pray for her.

I started by thanking God for Beth, for His grace and love; and asking for more of an anointing of the Holy Spirit. I then proceeded to command any spirit not of God to leave in the name of Jesus and asked the Holy Spirit to come and fill Beth. After a minute or so of praying this over her, her body began to jerk about and she started crying hard. I asked her ‘what’s going on Beth?’ she proceeded to scream a long violent high pitched scream and tried to force herself away from us. I continued to command any evil spirit to leave in the name of Jesus, asking for more of the Holy Spirit to come and be in control; and for peace in her spirit. Bethany almost immediately calmed down and I continued to pray over her in tongues.

Afterwards she claimed to have not been aware of her surroundings whilst she was jerking and did not remember screaming. She explained a feeling of something being ripped out of her like a large piece of chewing gum that was stuck inside her.

She and David are both blown away by this experience and by the power of the Holy Spirit, they are desperate to learn more about the bible and want to start coming to church more regularly.

I was unsure what was going to happen, but I knew God was in control the whole time. This was a first for me; but wow, God never ceases to amaze me. He is always drawing me a little deeper, and keeps moving me out of my comfort zone, just a little at a time.

Thank You Jesus.

When you’ve heard this you begin to recognise it all the time. Not only in others, but in yourself as well. I have found this so helpful, because every time I see a controlling attitude in myself I try and ask myself why?! What am I worried about? What is the insecurity?

Often the answer to these questions is to do with someone else’s actions reflecting badly on me, or that my influence will be a negative one. This has led me to believe that it is a building of trust; not just in individuals, but in humanity and the way that people learn that is the key to my security.

More of yourself than you realise is just what rubs off on you from other people…ever noticed how groups of friends all use the same phrases and style of jokes? Couples even begin to look alike; because when you spend time with someone you mimic their facial expressions, which over time changes the shape of your face.

I have to trust that just by being me it will be positive stuff that rubs off, and if it’s not then trust again that these lives I’m affecting are having a broad range of input from different areas so that I don’t screw them up completely.

I was sharing this story with some friends and Dave Wilkie challenged me, saying: ‘Dan, can you imagine what your youth work would look like if you were as passionate about the gospel as you are about coffee?!’

It hit me quite hard, but not because I’m not passionate about the gospel, but more because it inspired me about my methods for getting those I work along side inspired by the gospel! As a direct result of this I am developing a gospel drip feeding for my youth work…so far it includes sending out weekly encouraging text messages with bible passages. Not the most original idea, but a start none the less.

If Jesus was coffee, how would I get people to try Him? Add flavoured syrups, have him hot or cold, with milk and without, different roasts, different extractions…starting someone on double espresso Jesus probably not good, but the java chip mocha frappuccino Jesus…what does that look like?

In the last 7 years I have been line managed with this professional distance and I have tried to line manage others modelling this same attitude; but there is a fundamental flaw. The affect this ‘professional distance’ has on the working relationship, is damaging to work which is based on meaningful relationships.

A good example is of a youth worker with a young volunteer who has started to give up their time to help out with an open youth club. They get on well, but every time the managing youth worker feels they are getting too close they back off and become authoritarian in an attempt to reinstate the ‘professional distance’ and cement the level of respect that is expected for their authority.

In my experience it has become apparent that as relationships deepen and you begin to see somebody for who they truly are, the level of respect increases. What is important is that we work towards genuine transformation into the person people will want to follow…not creating a dualistic personality, the genuine us and the managerial us. People see through the mask; and what’s worse it appears as an insecurity that the true you is not the person/leader you want to be.

A need to control is the biggest sign of insecurity. Insecurity that what others do will reflect on your leadership, your youthwork, discipling, mentoring or whatever is is you do.

I have come to the conclusion my main aim is to strip away the fronts that the young people put up. I don’t want the ‘right answers’, I want honesty..But before I’m ever going to get that, I need to be able to give it as well.

So Jesus is asking this question as a no brainer, and says there will be rejoicing in heaven when one person turns to God…

This assumes a few things: this sheep that has wandered off is either a pretty special sheep, or it’s worth a bit of money, or maybe the shepherd just loves this little sheep…I guess like you get to love a dog or other pet.

I was quoted this passage today in relation to my youth work; I don’t think the message in the passage relates exactly, but the point they were making was obvious.  There is one particular individual who is a pain in the back side to put it bluntly…They are rude, arrogant, impatient, argumentative, immature and the list goes on (are you feeling the love?) they bring the atmosphere of everything they come to down and ruin everything for the other people that attend.  I’ve had countless complaints…and I’ve had countless conversations, and one to one sessions with them, putting in boundaries and discussing behaviour.  How do I leave the 99 (nice young people) to go after this one…

So I’m challenged, I’d rather just have nothing more to do with them…I do see potential, but at the moment they’re dragging everything down; it’s a constant battle. Everything in their actions says ‘I don’t wanna be here’ yet they profess that they do.  I catch myself asking ‘how much easier would life be without this person?!’

What’s more important the development of the group, or the development of this one individual at the detriment of the group?

It seems to me that when Christians think and talk about why we need to ‘evangelise’ even the terminology reflects an outdated scare mongering tactic…’Salvation’, to ‘get saved’. There is so much teaching that ‘we don’t get people saved by preaching hell, fire and damnation.’ So why is our main
MOTIVATION for evangelism exactly that…no wonder many Christians struggle to share their faith; when their teaching is: get people saved…when actually what we should be doing is saying let’s get people LOVED.

It’s obvious really, but what really is our motivation? If someone said to me: ‘for every person you bring to experience and know the love of Christ that leads to them committing their life to Him you will get an extra £1,000 added on to your salary’ I have to wonder would I do things differently. Immediately that scared me, the thought that I could be that materialistic, but then it left the question why is my motivation to see a person LOVED (saved!) less than the value of £1,000?! Do I really see value in my faith? Do i really see value in my faith for others?

The answer is yes, but why? What’s exciting? What’s different? What’s real? What’s unique? What’s attractive?

I could make a list that goes on and on about what’s amazing about being a Christian for me, but where I fall down is in understanding that those things could be amazing for others as well. Do other people really want to experience God’s love, see miracles, join in a loving supporting community of other believers? 

I think the church falls short, but it’s made up of people that make mistakes and I love the church; that’s not my scapegoat

Stories of miracles are amazing, I wish I saw more, maybe I would if I stepped out and asked for them more. But still, a miracle won’t stand on it’s own…

There’s the bible, which is great, but we can’t be just arguing people into believing in God…you can’t argue someone into a relationship!

And then we’re left with ‘well people need to experience God’s love in a tangible way, and remember: God says “I will build My church”‘. YES, yes they do, but is that the biggest cop-out ever?! I’ll just sit and pray for (insert name here).

Are you motivated to share Jesus? Do you have motivation for LOVING others and getting others LOVED? 

What if I offered you £1,000 for every person you brought to faith?